I Had a Good Day

No tracking but still, I didn't have any unhealthy snacks or portions. I even fixed a big supper for company and did not have seconds, although I did have a bite of dessert. I felt I could because I paid attention all day. I drank all my water. Thirty minutes of hard work on the treadmill. Ten minutes of work on the abs.

I honestly don't know if this no-tracking thing is going to work though. Tracking helps. It helps me pay attention to every bite and that is what I might need to re-train my brain to just eat to live, not live to eat. We'll see. But Hubby challenged me to this, to not obsess about every bite, to enjoy it, not over-indulging but enjoying. I'm think he's onto something, although it may not be that simple.

And thanks to my friends who heard my cry for support this afternoon. Nachos were screaming out to me as an afternoon snack. All I did was ask and I got lots of encouragement... I didn't have it, just a glass of water and the promise of a bite of chocolate chip dumplings at supper. That did it and I made it.

I have an annual appointment at the beginning of March. They got me in early (I was originally scheduled end of April, and that was my final goal date) so now I have to start making decisions. My new family doctor wants me to decide about a referral to a gyne for a consult about potential surgery (the big H, or at least a laparoscopy to remove my right ovary which is shot) or birth control (which is such a twisted irony I can't even speak of it) in order to give me some possible relief from endo pain. I honestly don't want to face either one, but I think I may be to that point in my life. I don' t know. I just hope that the next six or so weeks will prove to be health 'giving' enough that the decisions will be crystal clear. I know that if my blood tests show inflammation I won't have a choice... so wow... this could be a telling year health-wise. I have to face it. I can't hang onto the hope that somehow, someway my body will work right. Ahhh... decisions. It never ends.