Newest project...

Today was like starting over. I had to. I haven't gained but really I should have based on how undisciplined I've been about everything. But I had a good day today. I'll have to work through the struggles with chocolate etc at a later date, but today, I made a pact with my friend 'kt' that when we both get to 1000 workout minutes, we'll celebrate with a girl's night out. I hope it will help me focus more on the exercise than my struggle with food.

I know that I know that I know that if I'm working out, the food falls into line. It has happened every time. Every single time. And I want to be disciplined about not worrying about the number on the scale (although is that ever a hard habit to break????) but rather about how I'm feeling. And frankly, based on the indulgences ~ whatever you do, DO NOT make chocochip cookies with Her.shey k!sses and SK#R bar pieces, they are irresistable ~ I feel really cruddy, not just because I haven't been in complete control but because I really, truly feel it... my diet makes or break my endo pain levels and when I indulge in the wrong stuff I pay the price, and regret it, but I'm not thinking about that in the moment you know?

It's the 'in the moment' that gets me. Think it through Miss Pear!!! What are you putting in your mouth? What excuses are you making for yourself? Why are you focusing on the pain and not the possibilities?

So this new project, our '1000 minutes' is my new focus... and I know that I know that the food will fall into place. I just know it.

I am owning my failure to be disciplined. I'm not beating myself up about it because it's done. I'm moving forward. There's nothing else to do but do it right now.