Weigh in #3

Initial weigh in 177.2
Weigh in #2 173.1
Weight this morning: 172.4

My goal was maintenance, considering I was supposed to be on a trip this week and wasn't going to weigh in at all. So, a 0.6 loss is fine by me. It's a loss and that is what matters. And I know I only lost thanks to a consistent exercise routine and some heavy work in the house because I sure didn't do overly well eating right this week. It's hard to admit over and over how glaring a problem my emotional eating has become.

Yesterday was awful. I'm a big whiny sappy baby (or at least it feels like it, and no, no one would have known until Hubby got home and kids were in bed and we had a talk about the day as we try to do) because I just couldn't snap out of it and put on my practical sense to know it was a good thing Hubby was working yesterday (for 12 hours, the longest day he has ever worked for the door company, and it was on our 10th anniversary)... to me, it was a big deal that we weren't together for the day. I mean, there was a time in my life when I believed I wasn't going to ever be married so to be married for 10 years is an amazing milestone. I wanted a memory from THAT specific day, not to have be so ordinary. And well, for us, things are different. Hubby will be almost 70 when we celebrate "25" which for most people is pretty much a given milestone, but it isn't necessarily that for us. I want to make memories for us, just for us and make the most of each and every time we have something to celebrate. It was a big deal to me to have something be special about yesterday and this week. And it was ordinary. I'm learning to embrace that too, but I'm not good at being laid back.

I mean, we spend most of our lives as pastors helping others make memories of the milestones in their lives. This was ours... our turn. And it didn't work out (and I know we made the right decision because the kids continue to struggle with the aftermath of the sickies, which just compounds my struggle because I'm worn out.) and I'm have a snit about it. I was in tears for most of the day. I need to talk about that more probably, why it mattered so much, why I let it affect my life, but it has alot to do with exhaustion and neglecting myself, and never getting time to just be.

Wow, what a tangent and all that to say, eating the right foods and being in a healthy mindset not the reason I lost anything at all, and honestly, I had to force myself to get on the scale this morning because I was certain I had gained some. But I didn't. So there. Take that sappy self.

But now, I need to pull myself together and get moving towards my goal. I'm .6 pounds closer than I was last week. I can't wait honestly to see the 160's again... it's been a while.

So that's it... two full weeks of trying this and I suppose just in recognizing that I do the things I do is part of the process. Hoping for peace and finding a way through, and not feeling guilty about any of my choices, but owning them.