Where did I Go? And once again, another start.

I've been trying to live life and heal and get stronger these last almost two months.  And for the most part I have.  I have had many, many, many days with a lighter heart, increasing energy and a growing sense of wellness.  A recent event in our extended family has left me somewhat distracted and stressed and as that event has turned into a potentially long term uncertainty for us, I am wondering how I'm supposed to get rid of the fear of the unknown of it all yet again.  It sounds vague but if you go to my other blog you'll probably get the gist of it.  Needless to say, I have to figure this out, another start in order to continue towards health and lightheartedness in spite of this hanging over our heads.  I will not allow the unknown to once again make me head down a dark road.

So my plan, what little it is is to...

keep on working at exercising and building my strength (and losing some of that cellulite and inches too!).  I have to find a way not to focus on weight but rather health.  All that my weight does is cause me to get down.  In light of the I plan to...

only weigh once a week for now, and take my measurements starting tomorrow to see if I start losing inches, even if the pounds aren't falling off.  And instead  of counting every calorie...

I'll focus on doing my best, not eating every single bite absolutely right.  Even if two out of three meals are perfect, and snacks are healthy and I drink my water like I should, I should make progress.  I might plateau at some point, but PERFECTION at this point is not possible.  I'm concentrating on exercise first, and...

balance.  Where is the balance?  When I get stressed I tend to try to find distractions which include all sorts of things that mean I don't get the real stuff of life done.  So it means I'm working at reading more, watching TV less.  Doing more projects around the house and yard, being online less.  I hope I can still write alot, but for now, I'm going to try. 

So there it is. 

I weighed in this morning to 172.2 ... not happy about that at all.  I'd like to be 159 by the end of May but at this rate, losing and re-losing the same four pounds over and over, I have to work hard.  Today is a new day.  Let's see what comes of it. 

As an aside, I start physio regularly again for the next several weeks in hopes of continuing to get healing for my back/hip/leg/foot pain.  I also hope more exercise will allow me to be stronger as well for that.  MRI (now 6 months and counting in the wait) is finally at the end of this month.  Hopefully, something positive will come out of this.  Until though, I am managing.  It is amazing how much easier it is to manage the back/foot pain without the belly pain with it.  So progress, I guess.

And when all is said and done, it has been almost four years since I was absolutely physically fit.  That needs to be my goal for now. I just want to feel better.  And I want to feel better about myself. Period.